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"This is my comfort in my affliction"

 "This is my comfort in my affliction,
that your promises gives me life." - Psalm 119:50

I don't know how many times I've read this verse and thought: 'oh wow, what a comforting verse' 

Tonight as I read this I stopped and realised I read it wrong all along... this is my comfort IN MY AFFLICTION... 

It's so easy to get angry and despondent... it's easy to be numb and to pull away from loved ones... it's easy to retrieve back into my own bubble... in my anger and sadness and aloneness there is no accountability. There is no hope. There is no looking forward. There is no positivity. There is only my own selfish negative attitude. 

Truth is: It's easy to go back to the negative defaults because positive thinking, holding on to promises, holding on to the word of God and hope requires faith. Faith requires believing without seeing, trusting and letting go. 

It's the same old sing song... 

Yes, I have fibromyalgia 

Yes, I have migraines

Yes, I have pcos

Yes, I have vitamin deficiencies

Yes, I am anemic 

Also though... 

Yes, God is our Healer

Yes, God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow 

Yes, God is faithful

Yes, He is our banner of victory 

Yes, He is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords

Yes, He is the beginning and the end

And He is my comfort. He is my comfort in my affliction. I don't know how my story will end, but what I do know is that I cannot hold on to the pain and expect miracles. I need to give Him the pain and trust in His word. Trust in His promises... the miracle will come... I need to let go. Let go and trust.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." - Romans 8:18

I know this picture may not make sense and may not be medically accurate... but to me it represents beauty in the midst of pain... hope in the storm and comfort in my affliction.

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