Be steadfast

 I have been so obsessed with my physical healing and when that would come that I've come to a place where I hate my body. 

I know "hate" is a very strong word and probably not the most accurate to use at this moment. 

Let's see ... 

Greatly dislike.

Detest.

Loathe.

Despise.

I have come to greatly dislike my body. Whenever I go to the Dr for whatever the reason may be, and we discover a new symptom or something new that we need to treat, the dislike grows deeper. 

I was reading Psalm 103 tonight and found an old note I made while I was still in high school. 

The note read:

"Why are we on earth?

To honour and praise the Lord daily. 

Through every circumstance, in every area of our lives, to praise the Lord.

Through our praise and our seeking Him out, we discover more of who He is."

He forgives our sins.

Heals all our diseases.

Redeems us from the pit.

He crowns us with love and compassion.

He satisfies our desires with good things. 

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious.

He is slow to anger.

He is abounding in love. 

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever.

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

I read through this and the note I made 15 or so years ago and sat with the thought that we are here to praise Him. To share who He is in our lives, what He has done in our lives. 

Another thing stuck with me. 

Psalms 103:2-3 NIV‬

"Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases"

Who forgives and heals. 

This reminded me of another story in the Bible, one that can be found in Matthew.

‭Matthew 9:2-8 NIV‬

Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, “This fellow is blaspheming!” Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “Get up, take your mat and go home.” Then the man got up and went home. When the crowd saw this, they were filled with awe; and they praised God, who had given such authority to man.

The Lord forgave, then healed. 

This great dislike I have for my body, for everything "wrong" or "broken" in my body is holding me back from receiving the healing I am trusting for. 

James 1:6-8 reads: "but when you ask; you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. The person should nit expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

I need to let go of this great dislike I have for my body. I need to forgive my body. Ask the Lord to forgive me for not appreciating my body and for teaching myself to despise the areas where I am trusting for healing. 

I need to let go. Forgive. Trust. Wait on the Lord. Maybe daily. Maybe only today. Bottom line. Forgive myself. Ask for forgiveness and TRUST.

Don't be a double-minded person. Don't be like a wave in the sea. Be steadfast in His glory, His love, healing, strength, steadfast in His promises.